Welcome everyone to this important ceremonial occasion.
Participants, please state your name for the record [one by one]
__________________________________________
And do you come here today of your own free will, without fear of punishment or promise of favour? [Yes]
And do each of you solemnly affirm and thereby bind your conscience that you no longer accept the validity of any supernatural or religious notions shaping your life? [Yes]
And do you affirm your acceptance of the natural world as the only world and that further, your worth as a human being shall be guided by the principles and practices of secular humanism? [Yes]
In as much as you have made these solemn affirmations in the presence of this august company, therefore I [Name of Officiant], by virtue of the power conferred upon me by the Humanist Association of Ottawa, hereby certify that you all have demonstrated a commitment to humanism in word, thought and deed.
Thus let it be known that the power of all prior religious rituals, superstitions rites or ceremonies in your past, are of no effect upon you, and hereby proclaimed null and void.
Congratulations. Please accept your certificate of Freedom from Religion.
Certificate of Freedom from Religion
This certifies that [Name of Applicant], has met all the requirements and demonstrated a freedom and commitment to secular humanism of a complete and thorough nature, by action, word, thought, mind and body. Therefore, let it be known far and wide to every realm that the power of all religious rituals and superstitious rites and ceremonies which may have been performed for her/him in the past and which are presumed to have current value are of no effect and are hereby proclaimed to be null and void. Signed this __th day of [_____month], [_____Year], by _____________________ (Paul Bendus) who has been authorized by the Humanist Association of Ottawa to perform this ceremony, in the City of Ottawa, Province of Ontario / Canada.
Statement of Authority
It is well known that the presence of skeptics makes the occurrence of miracles impossible. In every case so far brought to light, claims of religious or paranormal miracles have faded into nothingness when confronted by skeptical inquiry. They dissipate like fog, revealing ignorance, delusion or fraud. Religion proposed that the motion of the planets required the miraculous action of angels under the direction of God, inquiry demonstrated the existence of universal gravitation; religion demands the special creation of species, each separately from nothing, inquiry reveals evolution; religion presents the shroud of Turin, inquiry has revealed the forgery. Obviously, skepticism has greater power than religion.
Religion has made the claim that belief is essential for a moral life, and that religion of one kind or another is necessary to explain the universe The power of human thought, and the worth of human beings in and of themselves, as represented by your life, demonstrate these claims to be simply lies.
Therefore, by the authority inherent in us as human beings, through the power of our reason, which sees no evidence of anything beyond the material universe, and which believes nothing without sufficient evidence; it is hereby declared that you are religion free and have no ties to any religion whatsoever. The mere fact that you have requested this certificate is proof of a total dissociation from religion.
Guarantee
If this certificate results in your eternal damnation, we will cheerfully void this certificate. (offer valid through infinite space and eternal time)